Topless play date

My cousin "M4" is due in 2 short weeks! Her little boy will be Marielle's first relative under the age of 18. M4 is apparently "too busy" with a full time job and full time grad school blah blah blah to author a blog so sorry, no links. OR it's top secret blog and I don't know about it. Either way, with the rapidly approaching date I feel it's time to start sharing my wisdom with her:

Dear M4,

At some point your child will reach an age where you think it's safe to leave clear out some room in the diaper bag and leave the extra outfit in the car, or even at home. And then the universe will prove you wrong. Usually when the wind chill is about 2 degrees below zero.

I highly suggest you make friends with moms who aren't judgmental about you being too lazy to walk the two blocks to get that extra outfit when you really need it.

Best wishes,

M3

PS As long as I'm providing unsolicited advice...EPIDURAL. EPIDURAL! EPIDURAL!!!!!

PPS Leftover pain meds make excellent stocking stuffers.

What a difference 14 days makes

It's been just over 2 weeks since the fall. The only sore left is the one under her nostril that was irritated by the nonstop snot river. The scars should disappear with a little help of my magic purple cream.

Do they make those mini-cheeseburgers out of mini-cows?

Join us for meat free week and you too could be entered to win fabulous prizes including a leather purse!

Uh...what?!

Me thinks maybe they didn't really think that one through. Or they are being hilariously ironic.

The point of this 5 day meatless fest isn't to convert the world to vegetarianism. That would be a whole lot of cows with no place to go - though I totally would take some of those miniature cows and let them live in my backyard.

The point is to see that you can survive without meat, and hey, maybe even have a complete meal now and then without it. (Breakfast doesn't count!) Last night we had a delicious potato soup. Tonight is chili night. Yes, there are vegetarian recipes that you can eat with a fork, we just haven't made any lately.

When you do buy meat, make an effort to get humanely raised meat. Wegmans sells great organic milk, pesticide free produce, free range/organic eggs, and other items that don't cost that much more. It's not just about your health - though if you are pregnant or feeding kids it is definitely an issue. It is better for the environment, better for the animal, and maybe even better for you.

Is that why it says ages 2 and up?

At least her legs didn't get stuck in the maze this time.

Easily amused

6,000 lbs a poop a year with your name on it.

People wonder why I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. They usually ask me during a meal, which isn't exactly the time for the "well I was dissecting a cat once and realized it looked just like chicken" discussion. Or the "did you know preserved human flesh looks just like roast beef and that really grossed me out when I saw it?" discussion. (Those actually aren't the reasons but they did help seal the deal.)

Here are a few of the reasons.

Read this New York Times article about the huge environmental costs of eating 200 lbs of meat a year. "At about 5 percent of the world’s population, we “process” (that is, grow and kill) nearly 10 billion animals a year, more than 15 percent of the world’s total. "

Where does it all go? In your water and in your air.

Overlooking the ethical issues regarding the way we raise and slaughter animals and JUST looking at the environmental costs, you have to wonder if we all really need SO MUCH MEAT.

Take a week off. Not even a whole week - just FIVE days. Then when you rejoin the meat eating world, become a part-time vegetarian. Just try to eat a little less meat and a little more that's organic.

More to come. (I can feel your excitement!)

Mmmm good

Every night when I feed the dogs, Marielle likes to sidle up to Cosmo as he's inhales his food. She pats him and yells DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG. It's the only time of day that she does this, despite the fact that he follows her around ALL DAY. Cosmo is very protective of his food. I'm afraid one day she's going to lose a finger.

Tonight I decided to try to capture it on video. You'll hear her attempt at "DOG DOG", see her sign "eat," and then watch it take a turn for the worse.

Stop the ride, I want off!

Have I really not posted since Monday? Oops. Hope you're visiting us over here too where I've managed a post here and there.

In the last 3 days we had a preschool tour, cued speech class, lunch date, early intervention visit, and home visit from Mari's speech therapist. All while feeling like dying. No wonder I fell asleep on the couch at 9 pm.

Next week doesn't look much better!

MWF ISO F, Age/Race not important

The snot is drying up. Marielle's, that is. It seems after a week of avoiding it, I am finally feeling her pain. I think it's already developed into a man cold.

I have so much fluid in my head that I feel like my brain is bulging into my middle ear. No wonder she doesn't want to wear her hearing aids. Unlike her, I can take something for it. And I still feel like dying.

I had a feeling when I became a mom that I wouldn't get many (any?) vacation days. Weekends don't really mean a thing anymore. But don't you think the universe would give me at least one sick day now and then? JUST ONE?

I got less than 3 hours of baby care out of my husband before the whining began. Another 20 minutes until watching an infant had completely exhausted him; he's been asleep ever since.

Justifiable homicide?

Let's hope the jury thinks so.

Update: He's awake now; they're watching TV together. I shall stop sharpening the axe for the time being. Back to bed I go.

Poor man's kleenex

So that is how to wipe her nose without tears and gnashing of teeth.

Maybe her sores will even heal faster?

What goes up must come down

After falling down our stairs once - oh, I didn't mention that? - Marielle has been pretty good about avoiding them. She will climb up, but once she's up she stays up.

Until today.



I can see how much she wants to walk. She's trying and trying. But the balance just isn't there yet. Her giant head can't be helping matters.

As much as I would like to see her reach that milestone, I refuse to accept that I have a TODDLER until it happens.

Good bye grey sky, hello blue

We've seen happier days. Or shall I say we've seen happier nights.

Mari's nose won't stop running, but we can't really wipe it due to the current scabbed-over-sores situation. (Despite several reader requests, I won't post an updated picture. I can barely look at her; I don't expect you to.) Instead I give her lots of deep baths in the jacuzzi tub, turn on the jets to distract her, and dump buckets of water over her head to flush out the snot. What that you say, that would make you grumpy too? The alternative is a complete inability to breathe through the nose, with snot then running down your throat all day. Bath ambush is sounding pretty good now, isn't it?

Last night she barely slept an hour at a time. I was in and out of her room constantly. Ever other hour I would bring her to bed with us, but then she thought it was funny to amuse herself pulling my hair out in giant fistfuls, so I would plop her back in her bed. I was in a fog, but I'm pretty sure I gave her about 4 bottles hoping that would shut her up and I could get more than 40 minutes of sleep.

At one point she woke up inconsolable. She didn't want a bottle, a breast or a cuddle. Her diaper was fine. Sitting up to help her breathe better didn't help. Then finally I whipped out my new weapon....

The giant magical light up ladybug.

I first bought this a couple of weeks ago in an attempt to get her to bed. She falls asleep quite easily the second you stick a bottle in her mouth. (Hence last night's four bottle attempt.) But I knew one day I would have to end this awful habit before all her teeth rot out. I thought she needed a distraction. I saw the ladybug at a local store - yes, I do occasionally leave the house - and bought it, since I was too impatient to mail order what I really wanted.

I wasn't terribly impressed. The "stars" look more like triangles. And it's not very bright unless it's pitch black. It doesn't work so well at naptime, even with the blinds drawn. I have to put it on top of her giant stuffed pony on top of the bed right next to her crib for it to be intense enough for her to see. But last night it was pure magic.

I laid down in the bed in Mari's room. (Note to all expectant moms: if you can fit a bed in your nursery you will LOVE YOURSELF for it.) Mari sat between me and the wall, and we looked at the bug all lit up. Her heaving sobs quickly became a dull whimper.

She watched carefully as I pressed the buttons. The first button is power. You have to press that or the others won't work. Then you can change from blue to green to red.

Mari quickly took over, changing the colors on her own. She was too busy concentrating to remember she was upset. But then she hit the power button accidentally and all went dark. She couldn't figure out how to turn it back on. I just sat and waited to see what would happen next. Would the wailing resume?

Instead, she groped around in the dark, looking for mommy. She grabbed my hand and pulled it over to the buttons. It was clear she wanted mommy's help, and she knew exactly what I needed to do. The second I turned the light back on I saw her face light up with the biggest smile I've seen in days.

We repeated this a couple more times. Lights out. Reach for mommy. Giant smile. Tears drying up.

Within 2 minutes she had it all figured out. She didn't need mommy anymore.

Watching a child learn is amazing. There's no feeling like it. But can't she need her mommy just a little bit longer?

Are you smarter than a beagle?

We've been having a discussion in our house for several months now about who's smarter - Marielle or the beagles. And at what point will she clearly pass the beagles? They had her hands (paws?) down for the first 9 months. Then the race started to heat up.

Expressive communication: Both can communicate their needs with different sounds; Mari can communicate with sign. Advantage, Marielle

Receptive communication: Marielle responds to words like "eat" and "milk?" Dogs respond to "dinner" and walk." Beagles respond to their name and come when called. Slight advantage, dogs.

Physical skills: Marielle can climb up on furniture but cannot get down. She still can't walk. However, she can dance and the dogs can't. And she can feed herself with her fingers.

Neither the dogs nor Marielle are reliably pottytrained or skilled at math, science or logic.

As of last week I would say it was a toss up between the two. Hopefully she will clearly pull ahead before long.

Barry has a friend he's known forever. I will call him a "friend" not because I think he actually meets the true definition, but it's because it's what Barry calls him. Kind of like how if someone wants to be called African-American I'm not going to ask for proof.

Anyway. Let's call him Melvin. Melvin is not very smart. And not in the special ed kind of way, but in the conceited prick who couldn't be bothered to care 'bout learnin' kind of way.

The other day Marielle was doing something amazing. Well, amazing to us. I'm sure every other 13 month old does it too. But we about fell over when she did it. Clearly it wasn't THAT impressive as neither of us can even remember what it was. But trust me. At the time, it totally rocked our world.

Barry turned to me and said. "You know what? I think it's finally happened...I think Marielle is finally smarter...

...than Melvin."

Beagles: you're next.

Kayla had a feeling from day 1 that this new addition to our family was not going to benefit her in any way.

When is she old enough to do our shoveling?

Crawling through snow is pretty cold. Maybe I should try walking!

...or maybe not.

Healing

I couldn't bring myself to post a picture from yesterday - they are just too gruesome with all the swelling and crusted on snot. Today things are looking much better, and by next week we may actually be able to go out in public again.

A day without a mommy

Poor baby!

Faker!

She's fine. Though she may need a nose job one day.

It all adds up

UPDATED calculations using the new IRS approved mileage rate for 2008: 50.5 cents/mile. Which totally put me over the edge into "time to quit working entirely and get to and fro only by horseback or rickshaw.")

Sometimes I think I'm going to lose my mind, trying to work at home and adequately raise my daughter. Then I realize, "Oh wait, that happened a long time ago."

It's sounds so easy but doesn't really work out that way as those who have been there soon find out. Tonight I figured out how much it would cost me to put her in daycare. Because if I keep up at the pace I went last year (e-mails while in labor, people!), that's where she's going to end up.

The grand total?

$24,229.40

That's right. I would have to earn over $24,000 to break even on the tuition and cost of gas to drive her back and forth every day. That's just for the upcoming year. One year. (The first year would have cost even more, and I would also have to figure in the extra formula cost.)

Seems to me I should just get to work about $24,000 less this year. And maybe even get a retroactive credit for last year.

I have no intention of putting her in daycare. She gets free pre-school from the county when she turns 2, but until then she's all mine. Now don't get me wrong, she would probably learn tons and have much more fun there than she does with me every day. But this is all about me, people. This is my one kid and I'm going to enjoy it. I want to soak up every second of every day. I want to be there for every new sign, every new word and for the first step.

That being said, I'm off to work another meeting first thing Tuesday. Marielle is on the cusp of walking. I've told Barry that if she walks while I'm gone, he better not tell me. And if he does tell me, I'll break her legs and make her learn all over again.

Coming soon:
I announce my upcoming, long awaited maternity leave.

Bookworm

Clearly we would not be welcome in the library with this sort of behavior.

Dance party USA

She's already a better dancer than her mommy and daddy:



Only my daughter could dance like such a rock star and munch on a giant piece of bread at the same time.

This baby bongo drum was a terrific first birthday present from our friend Jamie. It's probably Mari's favorite present of all time.

As soon as the music stops, Mari goes over and smacks it with her hand to get it going again. This is fantastic because it shows us that she hears the music and knows when it has stopped. Yeah, for hearing aids! When she doesn't have her aids in, we turn out the lights and enjoy the disco lights. Best baby toy ever!

Best Tuesday ever?

Today Marielle had speech therapy. At $110/hour (ouch) it may drive us to bankruptcy, but all her new sounds and signs may just make it worth it.

Mari also had 5 hours total with 2 different babysitters, both fluent in ASL. They sign and speak simulataneously while they play. She loves the attention and mommy loves the chance to get some work done.

We enjoyed the seventy degree weather with a stroll around the neighborhood late this afternoon. During a quick neighborhood beagle playdate Marielle showed off her new skills. We have a neighbor with an 19 month old boy. Marielle says more words (3) than he does (2) and proceeded to show off unprompted. "Dog! Dog! Dog!" Usually being around kids with normal hearing makes me slightly depressed, as I hear how far ahead of her they are. Today was a nice change of pace.

During today's therapy session I noticed a big change...Marielle's frizzy afro is slowly morphing into cascading ringlets! I just can't imagine her with real hair, though I'm sure it's going to be unbelievably adorable.

I have to work offsite, aka not in my house, the rest of the week. I better not miss anything good! I swear, if she learns to walk while I'm at work, I'll never work another minute. Daddy better glue her to a chair if he ever wants to see another dime of income out of me.

Best Monday ever

Due to rapidly approaching work deadlines and the desire to go to bed at a decent hour, tonight's post will be filled with incoherent ramblings lacking any direction, cohesiveness or segues. I won't even promise to follow up with details. Maybe I will eventually, but probably not. Take it or leave it.

It is so fantastic to have a little mind of mush that we can mold into a human being. Our latest mission: teaching Marielle to dance the robot.

Today was a gorgeous day. Highs in the upper 60s. I had many errands to run and Mari and I managed to walk between all of them. Tomorrow is going to be seventy. SEVENTY!

Today's other mission involved me sitting at my computer constantly hitting "refresh" on my local freecycle webpage, sending out frantic e-mails to be first to respond, then dashing off to pick up my latest find. Don't worry, I'm not keeping it. Just gathering for a mom in need who doesn't have a computer. (I KNOW!!! Can you even imagine?!)

I learned the local grocery store provides free lunch for toddlers, i.e. well stocked sample displays. Add on 50 cents worth of veggies from the salad bar and you have the best meal your kid has eaten all week.

Really, it was a fantastic day.

Daddy's girl

When I was pregnant Barry asked me how old Marielle would be before she could enjoy her first BMW. I wasn't sure at the time, but turns out the answer is: about 12 1/2 months.

Watching her play with her BMW Baby Racer II (Formula 1 edition) and learn how to use it has been hilarious. She quickly learned she wasn't strong enough to honk the horn with one finger; she has to use her whole hand. Next she learned how to get on by herself, after many attempts where she ended up on top but facing backwards. Now she's got the whole routine down and can even push herself around her room with her feet.

She did not get the model with the working headlights - she'll just have to use her imagination. Geez, we're not going to spoil her.

Night of the living dead

I was to understand that once my child learned to sleep through the night, I was home free?

Could someone please explain that to my child?

Last night Marielle woke up every two hours until 5 am when she decided that she was awake for good. Usually when she wakes up crying I leave her for a couple of minutes to see if she will go back to sleep on her own. A half-asleep-Barry however was interpreting that as a request for him to go take care of it, resulting in a whiny request from his side of the bed about having to work and get up early and could I please go shut her up.

I have no idea what's going on. She doesn't appear to be sick and is in a fantastic mood today. Wish I could say the same for myself.

If only we had a replay cam

We have an official first word! Ok, so we had it over a week ago, but I just haven't gotten around to writing about it until now.

We often hear Marielle make what SOUNDS like a word, but we refuse to "count" it unless we think she knows what she's saying. Otherwise her first word would have been EGG back in July. Or dada or mama. She now says them all, but pretty much anything can be called dada or mama; she doesn't appear to know that they belong to people. She will also try to imitate many of the sounds we make.

A couple of times we have heard her say "oggy" as in doggy, but we still weren't sure. Then over Christmas we were beagle free for an entire week. Who knows, maybe it was being away from her best friends that inspired her outburst. As we were leaving our baby blind date we noticed their dog sleeping in the corner. Marielle pointed at her and said, "DOGGIE!" A few of us looked at each other like, "Did we just hear that?"

An hour or so later we arrived at Da and Flimsy's house where she met their crazy dogs and immediately repeated her word. As Barry said that night, "I'm calling it! Official first word!"

Love at first sight?

My parents live almost 3 hours from a real airport. Unfreakingbeliveable, yes? Mari is incapable of sitting in the car that long without going bananas, so we often stop along the way for playdates with friends of friends and/or anyone that will open their door when we knock.

When Marielle first met Stro in February 2007, she was wearing a size 3-6 months and he was 12-18 months. (She was 2 months old, he was 6.) Mari couldn't sit, and he couldn't do much more than sit.

10 months later, they reunite:

Holy cow how they have changed!

Mari has mostly caught up, though Strocephus is taller just by a hair. They are both wearing 2T. He is now walking and Marielle is almost there. (I just know this will be the year!)

Since he is my brother's nephew (Da's wife's brother's son) does that make an arranged marriage between the two incestous?