Of course it would happen while we were at a stand still in traffic, an hour from home, and seemingly the only place on 95 without an exit every 5 feet.
It would be another 10 minutes before we could pull over and deal with it.
Plenty of time for her to smear it on her face, throw a little around and do everything to make me want to vomit up my Ruby Tuesday lunch.
My mind raced. Why did I have to use the last of the wipes this morning? What the hell will I do? Why haven't I scheduled a vasectomy for Barry yet? Thank God I took out her hearing aids at the last stop! SERIOUSLY KID, STOP TOUCHING IT!!! Oh wait, I'm screaming at a deaf kid.
We finally made it to the first parking lot of the first exit. I checked our emergency baby supply box in the back. The extra wipes were long gone, so it was time for Mommy MacGyver. Several bottles of water and some extra diapers (used as wipes) later, I had a naked down baby splashing in water puddles with a filmy layer of gasoline and poo while I did my best to make the car liveable. The last 60 miles lasted all of 45 minutes.
If my life were a reality show, people would think it was staged.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sorry, officer, I thought this was the autobahn.
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5 comments:
I think there were better ways to handle this. What about stopping in the middle of the road, getting out of your car, flailing your arms and banging on all the windows of other cars with car seats in them... "Emergency! Emergency! Do you have any wipes? 'Cause I would have paid to see that.
Haaaaaaaaa! You should have called me for sympathy. ARGH...You must tell Jody that you had a JEremy event. No futher explanation will be necessary!
I thought about stopping in the shoulder but then could just imagine chasing her through the lanes of 95.
Next time I'll just roll down my window and start yelling. Since we weren't moving faster than 2 mph, I'm sure someone would have noticed.
Actually maybe I should keep a bright orange flag in my car just for this purpose. Or I could remember to pack more wipes. Nah.
Holy Crap!!
I'm going to put emergency wipes in my car RIGHT NOW!
I keep an ENTIRE package of wipes in the car. My husband thinks I'm nuts- now I have evidence in my favor!
We've had a similar poo situation, but it was at home (thank goodness)! Let's just say that toilet training may give you a few more of these disgusting moments.
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