Pucker up

Barry made the mistake of insulting my baby feeding skills. I took that as him volunteering to give it a shot. How do you think he did? You be the judge:

Gimme a big smooch, daddy!

Clearly I need to elaborate at some point when I have more time

I'm in the basement, knee deep in hundreds of flowers. It's 4 in the afternoon, yet I'm wearing pajama pants - and not just any pajama pants, but maternity pajama pants - topped off with an old tshirt and pink clogs. I look up and through the window spy a man walking towards our front door. I quickly try to swallow the brownie I have stuffed in my mouth, then run to the bathroom to frantically rinse the crumb remains out of my teeth.

"Barry! Grab the baby!" I shout, "Turn off the TV! HURRY!!! The senator is at the door!"

Oh yeah, that's right. I summoned our senator, and he came. If only he had called first, I might have put on a bra.

Work at home mom

As I supervised snacktime from my office, I took this picture on my internet crib cam:

Thanks for the help, adorable $6 stuffed dog from TJ Maxx.

You do what you gotta do.

To all my friends in the Commonwealth: updated

Slow down. Or else.

Damn. Sucks to be a Virginian.

6/28 Update!
Seems there's been some backlash to Virginia's new revenue scheme but the program is still moving forward on July 1. I learned that the hefty fines don't apply until after you have either a serious violation (DWI) or at least eight points on your driving record. Whew.

I noticed cops EVERYWHERE a few weeks ago. Gotta love the internet. Research revealed: the Smooth Operator campaign website reports law enforcement will be out in large numbers the following dates:

June 3 - 9, 2007
July 1 - 7, 2007
August 5 - 11, 2007
September 2 - 15, 2007

I see they have timed the next surge to coincide with Virginia's new traffic fines. According to their 2006 report, the primary time of enforcement is 4 - 6 pm. How one can speed in the DC area during evening rush hour is beyond me. Note to self: just in case, take the bus.

The man is also watching you in Montgomery County and DC

Also on July 1, red light cameras are returning to Virginia. Good idea? Their own research says no. The Washington Post research agrees.

I used to have an office with a view of a red light camera. The camera would flash all day and all night. Occasionally we would hear the screeching of tires and then the classic sound of a rear end crash. Accidents at this intersection increased over 30% due to people slamming on their brakes at 50 miles an hour.

It finally came out that when the camera was put in, the yellow light time had been shortened. Six weeks after the camera was installed, they returned the yellow light to its normal length. They barely managed to catch one person a day despite over 35,000 vehicles going through that intersection every day.

I'm not saying I should be allowed to speed. (OK, I should be allowed to speed sometimes. 55 on the toll road is ridiculous.) And running red lights is a recipe for disaster. I'm just saying the man should play fair.

Somebody grew a pair

Lately the phone has been ringing off the hook. No, I do not want to hire your inspirational speaker or rent a stretch hummer in Phoenix. If I do, I will call you.

I am 100% certain that these people have been distributing my phone number and e-mail to vendors. This makes it a lot easier to decide not to renew my $400 membership with this organization. All of a sudden in the past week I have been inundated with calls and e-mails. Either they are selling my info, or the vendors are using the new member directory to make cold calls. Since my business name starts with "C," telemarketers get to me before they get worn out.

Last week a guy took it upon himself to sign me up for his weekly industry e-newsletter. I instantly unsubscribed, and he called within 10 minutes to find out why I didn't want to receive his newsletter anymore. Because I never wanted it!

I usually just let the phone ring. (Yeah for caller ID!) But Barry has suddenly decided it's time to be proactive.

Limolink: Yes, can I speak with Monica please?
Barry: Is this a sales call?
LL: No.
B: Ok, then what is it in reference to?
LL: I am just calling to introduce myself.
B: So it is a sales call??
LL: dial tone

Who knew Barry would make such a fantastic secretary.

More for me

It seems Marielle doesn't like hummus. She really, really, really does not like hummus.

I'm not a huge fan of their hummus either, actually. Don't get me wrong, I'll definitely eat it, I've just had better.

Listen to that loud background noise. Now imagine trying to hear normal conversation in there with hearing aids on. I can see we'll be writing this restaurant off when she is older.

update: I found a food she loves - prunes!!

I blame Barry's ebay addiction

Our doorbell has rung NINE times this afternoon alone. If I had some money, I would hire myself a receptionist. Instead, I printed myself out a sign. Now appearing on my front door:

Solicitors
We have no money. Go away.

Delivery Men
Leave item on porch.

Invited Guests
Please let yourself in.

Uninvited Guests
Go home. Call first.

Home cooking

Despite our doctor's advice, I've been shoving all sorts of new foods into Marielle. In the past few days she's had baby oatmeal, sweet potatoes, pears, pear popsicles, peaches and black bean soup.

Allow me to share my recipes. (Patent pending, patent pending.)

Pear popsicles:
Take pureed pears
Put in here
Freeze

Black bean soup
Puree black beans and formula in food processor
When you realize you put in too much formula, thicken with some organic baby oatmeal

Watch out FoodTv, here I come.

The black beans were Mari's favorite, though definitely my least favorite to see 24 hours later coming out the other end.

Other than feedings, we spent our weekend giving her baths and doing her laundry. Perhaps we'll save time by feeding her naked, then hosing her off on the deck.

Mari has recently learned to express her delight in ways other than kicking violently and waving her arms. I am pretty certain she's also adding some new cries to her repetoire that translate as "I am not happy! Bow down to me NOW!!!"

Overall she's still a very good baby. When mommy and daddy were knocked on their asses with exhaustion this morning, she was happy to play on our bed with her toys, our lifeless sleeping bodies acting as safety bumpers. I finally woke up after I could no longer tolerate her incessantly kicking my ribs. (She only knows how to scoot/crawl backwards. Next time I shall point her the other direction. Sorry, daddy.)

I have no idea when this exhaustion is going to magically vanish. I'm sure the gallons of diet coke I am now drinking are not helping anything. I get five minutes of functioning followed by a huge crash.

I know I should do all of the following: take my vitamins regularly, exercise, eat better, lose weight, work less and go to bed at a normal time - or at least at a consistent time. But this isn't just a poor-lifestyle-induced exhaustion. Nor is it a my-baby-doesn't-sleep exhaustion. Because my baby does sleep - at least at night - and for a long time. This is a "I am on my 25th month of pregnancy with quadruplets" exhaustion. I can actually feel my bones yawn. My soul yearns for one thing: more rest, though even that doesn't seem to make a dent.

Instead of a weekend of catching up on chores or even catching up on work, I had a weekend full of naps which did not leave me feeling any better.Barry has been awesome. He played with Marielle for hours tonight so I could climb into bed under piles of clean laundry waiting to be folded - not even enough energy to push them onto the floor - to nap.

I have an atrocious week ahead. I am designing/arranging A LOT of flowers for a wedding next weekend. It's been a long time since I last unleashed my secret talent, but hopefully it will come back quickly. I've got all the work I didn't finish last week. Plus numerous projects around the house. Some can be ignored awhile longer, some can't. Stupid plants, wanting to be watered.

Tomorrow is totally out for getting anything done. I'm going to watch one of C's twins while she's with the other at Georgetown Hopsital - he's having hernia surgery. Mari and I leave home at 5:30 am to get to her house in time. She'll be home by noon, but no way am I driving 35 miles to Maryland without an uneccessary stop at Ikea. My garage still has a few square feet of floor showing. I must fill it!!!

Next week is my annual exam. Perhaps my trusty midwife can share some insight as to why I feel like the walking dead. Anemia? Pregnant again? Lazy? (Probably, absolutely not, and positively.) Until then, got meth?

6 months

We had Mari's 6 month check up this week. I think Dr. Awesome likes us because we both come to her appointments. I don't think he sees a lot of dads. Little does he know, we're both just lazy and avoiding work using any excuse we can.

I asked the doctor about introducing solids. He launched into a long discussion about what kinds of cookies we should buy rather than teething biscuits which were a big rip off, blah blah blah. I let him finish, then said, "Perhaps you didn't understand. We haven't fed her ANYTHING yet besides breastmilk and formula." He was pretty surprised. I guess most parents don't actually follow the AAP recommendations. But again, we're lazy, so we did.

I love Dr. Awesome more everytime I see him. He's so laid back. His advice pretty much boiled down to, "Oh, whatever, just feed her and make sure she doesn't choke." He mentioned we could start with cereal, feed her the same thing for five days to make sure there was no allergic reaction, then introduce a second food, etc. etc. I took that as more of a suggestion, and after yesterday's organic baby oatmeal, we moved on to the frozen baby food pears popsicle made in one of these awesome contraptions he suggested. (Videos to come at a later date.)

You've got to love a pediatrician with 44 years of real life experience working with babies. "Some people tell you to start them on vegetables before fruits because otherwise they will only want to eat the sweet fruit, but I've got news for you. It doesn't matter, they're going to hate the vegetables no matter how you introduce them."

When I asked him about the crappy breastfeeding advice the other doctor in his practice had given me, he suggested I talk to my OB or family doctor. I much appreciate an "I have no idea" answer than someone who gives me the complete opposite of the correct answer. How is it that so few pediatricians know little about breastfeeding? I wanted to say, "Doesn't your practice have a lactation consultant? Why don't you refer people to HER?"

I have been searching the grocery stores for regular foods we can feed Marielle, but everything is so filled with preservatives and crap that I hesitate to buy it. It was a bit depressing to think we put all that stuff in our bodies. (But then I figured it was too late for me after 30 years of chemicals, and went home and ate a dinner of twinkies.)

Here are her stats:

• 18 lbs, 3 oz (90th percentile)


• 28 inches tall (100+ percentile)


• 17.5 inch head circumference (don't remember, but I'm sure it's up there in the %)

The amazing growth continues - she's now the length of a 10 month old and the weight of an 8 month old. You may remember from her last doctor's visit that she had only gained 1 pound in 7 weeks. Well, 12 days later she had gained another whole pound. (We all put on a lot of weight in Orlando.) Way to recover from that anorexia, Marielle. Come over to the binge eating side! It's much more fun.

Next check-up is at 9 months, and no shots, so that should be a fun one!

Good bye, Linda. I barely knew thee.

Dear Linda Gillis,

I must apologize - I have no clue who you are. I found your name on a scrap of paper sitting between my computer keyboard and phone. Clearly I wrote it down today, as I used the red pen that I only use when I cannot find any of my other favorite pens and today was one of those days. See, I can remember some things, though usually not the important details I need to remember.

Surely I am supposed to call you back, or register you for a conference, or pass a message along to my husband. All I know is that your name has been staring up at me all day and now I give up. You are going in the trash. I just can't deal with the guilt. As quickly as you are thrown away, I will forget about you.

I have tried to google you. Maybe you are a travel writer, massage therapist, or dietician. If so, please call again and I would love to speak with you! Especially if you are a masseuse.

My memory - it's not so good these days. I just got back from 9 days in Orlando and my brain is still in a fog. Usually after a long conference I get to relax for a few days and regrow my damaged brain cells. Instead, I had to jump right back into work the next morning. Had my babysitter not unpacked my bags, they would still be sitting in the garage. I cannot remember being this tired since my first trimester of pregnancy. (No, Linda, I am not pregnant, but thanks for your concern. Just overworked.)

I do what I can. I've already enjoyed 3 liters of diet coke today which was supposed to kick my ass into gear and clearly has not. Perhaps sugar would help. Twinkies for lunch? Why yes, that does sound fantastic. Perhaps with a side of cheese for some protein.

Now if you will excuse me, I must go...what the hell was I just working on?

Love, or Sincerely, or whatever might apply to you, Linda,

Monica

Some things never change

When I was home in February we were digging through our baby books and found my mom's babysitter pointers from 1986ish. I hope my parents were going away for the weekend, otherwise either they were way more neurotic than I ever imagined.

We joked about the instructions for keeping Grant, the youngest, happy. Every other line involved feeding him. 22 years later, the same technique works.

Jeremy was to be taken to the backyard and allowed to "roam around." (Jeremy is still roaming, currently in Austin.) He also liked to nap with his shoes on. Not sure if this still goes, unless maybe after a big night of partying.

Damon and I were labeled "fairly self sufficient." Instructions say we were not to have friends over, play in the front yard, go to the library next door, or go bike riding. I suppose we quite enjoyed a weekend of staring at Grant our binge eating brother or Jeremy the wanderer. Perhaps we were kept in a dungeon?

Marielle was left alone at childcare for the first time last Wednesday. Granny Nanny was in Orlando to help care for her, but I needed Granny to be a whale handler for a couple of hours. The next few days we left Mari for a couple of hours each day so Granny could enjoy a little break. When I left each day at 6:30 in the morning Marielle was asleep, and when I returned around 10:30 pm she was asleep again. I was little help the entire week, and knowing how exhausting she can be, I thought Granny deserved naps and pool time.

When Granny Nanny dropped off Marielle they made her fill out a form about Mari's likes and dislikes. I used my stealth skills - i.e. walking in the childcare room that the hotel forgot to lock - to paw through their records at night and read Marielle's eating/playing/napping report.

My favorite part is where she indicates her favorite posessions can be found "in her lap." Or maybe how the "best way to get me to sleep" is left blank. I guess "stick a boob in her mouth" wasn't a viable option.

Political science

I blindly hand my daughter over to Dr. Awesome every 8 weeks to jab needles into her fat thighs. They hand us a binder explaining all the vaccines, and take great care explaining everything to us. I don't know why I trust them to inject her with strange substances but I definitely trust them more than my quirky chiropractor who tried to talk me out of a flu shot last winter. But after her last round when she had swollen legs for days and was fussier than usual, part of me had to wonder...

I recently read the book Vaccinated: One Man's Quest to Defeat the World's Deadliest Diseases cover to cover. The book is primarily about Maurice Hillmen. You have probably never heard of him. Neither had I. But his work on developing new vaccines has saved thousands if not millions of lives. And to read about how he went about these scientific discoveries was pretty fascinating.

I'll admit, I have an interest in all things medical. I once took "mini-medical school" at Georgetown. Twice. Despite my secret obession, it still wasn't so appetizing how vaccines were developed - severed heads of chicken embryos, anyone? - though it was a necessary part of the story.

I learned tons of fascinating facts. In the 1950s there were only four vaccines at a cost of about $4. We now have sixteen vaccines, some requiring multiple shots, at the cost of over $1000. In the 1990s, President Clinton realized the cost of vaccinating children was out of reach of many parents and created the Federal Vaccines for Children program, which raised immunization rates from 70 to 90+%. The program has been cut back recently - shocking, I know. Other forces also put vaccines at risk. Better luck in 2008, poor kids.

After reading this book, I'm even more convinced of the necessity of vaccinating all children, especially my own. It was written by one of the creators of the Rotavirus vaccine, so part of me thinks "consider the source" but the other part of me knows that rotavirus alone kills thousands of kids a day around the world. According to the CDC, before the rotavirus vaccine came out, nearly every child had an episode of rotavirus by the age of 5. Rotavirus can cause severe dehyradation resulting in hospitalization or even death.

There are a lot of opinions to consider in this debate. However, the chapter discussing how the whole autism/thimerosol link got started will most likely leave you on my side of the fence. What it comes down to is when you compare vaccinated children with those that have not been vaccinated, the incidents of autism are exactly the same. This chapter alone made it worth reading the book. The rest was just fascinating facts I plan to unleash on you at the next cocktail party or family outing we both attend.

You want to stick that where??

On the X day of conference, my karma gave to me:

10 missing nextels

9 nights with no husband

8 paramedics

7 delicious cannolis (can't be all bad, right?)

6 dollar bottle of water

5 minutes a day with my baby

4 nights of nightmares

3 major accidents

2 items stolen and

a giant flood in the exhibit hall.

So far we've had floods, major medical emergencies and thefts, but everyone remains alive. 15 hours and counting before we can call it a success.

It's not all fun and games...

...but the fun and games is all that's worth showing.

I did not put this together. But I did design it and pick the colors, which matched our conference colors, and the columns looked totally awesome, if I do say so myself.

Mari recognizes her mommy and sees a lifetime of crazy ahead.

I want YOU to fix the exhibit hall so rain stops pouring from the ceiling!

Let me count the ways

0 - Times I've been to the pool.

1 - Dollar required for hours of entertainment.

2 - Days with grandma before Mari learned to do this:

We call this: the orangutan

3 - Number of things Grandma has crossed off her Marielle to do list.

Taking a break from my baby homework.

4 - dollars and 62 cents. Cost of this mini-tart:

5 - Number of tarts I can fit in my mouth at once. (Lies. I can fit 10 times this many, I'm sure.)

6 - Age of the girl next to me on the plane that drew this for us:

7 - Days left until we go home!

Rescue me, daddy!

The answer is C

The Magic Kingdom may be the happiest place on earth, but just down the road is the scariest place on earth: the Orlando Wal-Mart.

You know how when you go to your local Wal-Mart, there are always a few really scary people? Well imagine they all went on vacation. Together. And brought 45 of their weirdest extended family members.

Not that I was much better. Imagine the looks on the faces of the people behind me in line when they saw me buying 60 tubes of trial sized sunscreen. I saved that surprise for the end, after I took out the 60 water guns and 9 days worth of groceries that I was buying. Oh, and if you could ring that up separately and by the way here are my coupons and I would like to pay with check AND credit card...

Every year I swear I will never go back. And I always do. Once a year, I bite the bullet and go to the Walmart when working this big convention. At home I am smart enough to hit the glorious Target. But trying to save a buck and with faded memories of years passed, I always make the same mistake while on the road. Next time, I'm taking a camera, as words cannot adequately describe the mayhem.

Target: Walmart as

a) Ritz Carlton:Marriott

b) BMW: Honda

c) Paris:Bagdad

A super long post to entertain you for the next 9 days

"How would you like to have a baby this Friday?" It was late one December afternoon when I found out I was going to be induced in less than 3 days. I immediately went home, drew up the world's biggest to do list, and got to work. You wouldn't believe how much I got done in 3 days, and at 39+ weeks pregnant no less. It was truly superhuman. (I work well under pressure. The rest of the time though? Pretty lazy.)

I had the packing list for the hospital, and of course at the last minute did my traditional toss-in-everything-I-might-possibly-need-in-case-stranded-for-two-months routine. Barry still got sent home with a list of things to pick up. (Note: hospitals do not have shampoo! It may cost twice as much as a night at the Four Seasons, but there ain't no chocolate on the pillow. Except that pudding I spilled. Sorry, next guest.)

Laptop, Netflix, christmas cards, connect four, Ipod, feathery tiara thing - what more does a girl need? (I finally watched that Netflix about 8 weeks later)

22 hours later, I was sent home with no baby but lots and lots of luggage.

I had 48 hours to finish up those last few things on my to do list. A second chance! Whew. I spent all weekend working and of course repacking my hospital bag.

Not quite so fun being confined to the bed to experience non-productive contractions all day long. Especially twice in one week.

When the fun of me beating everyone at Connect Four wore off, we broke out the charades! (He also got sent to the main hospital a lot as that is the only place they had wireless access. If you got an email from me on December 8, 9 or 11, it was because Barry walked to the main building to sync my emails for me.)

After attempt number two failed, I was sent home. My to do list was crossed off, I had finished the Christmas cards (already signed with baby name, which meant they couldn't be mailed until there was actually a baby). I had absolutely nothing to do. Everything had been checked off my list. I sentenced myself to couch rest for a TV marathon, moaned & groaned, went out for almost every meal, until my water broke four days later.

My very, very patient midwife. Who must have been quite tired of seeing me at this point. (She was there for the first 8 hours and another came in for the last 7.)

Now I am getting us ready to leave for NINE days in Orlando. I HATE ORLANDO. I think I may have mentioned that before? But I am VERY excited Marielle is coming with me, even if it means I will probably wear the same pants all week just so there is more room to pack toys for her. Stupid baggage weight limits. Perhaps I can string all her toys together and wear them as a giant necklace?

My to-do list has been a work in progress for a couple of days now. Now it's 11 hours until departure and I suppose it's time to start working on the items on the list rather than actually just sitting here making my list longer. Actually, I lie. I have five lists.

1. Things to pack
2. Barry's to do list while I am gone
3. Things I must do before leaving
4. Things to buy at Target once I get to Orlando because I am going to run out of food in my suitcase
5. Crazy snacks to buy at Costco for my co-workers with bizarre tastes (mmm...slim jims and twizzlers!)

Oh wait - six. I also have a list of things I am going to ask Grandma to teach Marielle in the next 9 days, including how to swim, sit up, and nap. I have taught Mari none of these in the past 6 months, however I'm sure Grandma can pull it together in 9 days, right?

This has been a week of firsts, from the mobile pulling to the riding in a grocery cart sitting up (and not precariously balanced on top of the cart in a car seat that is not designed for this function), to almost-almost-almost sitting up unassisted.



And then there's the really good stuff - for three mornings straight I have woken up to a urine soaked baby. I finally went out and bought giant "overnight" diapers. If she keeps changing at this rate, daddy won't even recognize her when we return!

Today we went to the pediatrician. Mari was pulling on her ears and everyone thought I should be 100% certain she was fine before leaving for Florida. (For the record: I was 100% certain, however apparently a 8 week class at mini-medical school at Georgetown does not make you a doctor that people trust. Even when you share your practice with Dr. Google.)

Marielle is now weighing in at a whopping 17 lbs, 13 ounces. It sounds like a lot, but actually is only a pound gain in 7 weeks, so it really isn't a lot. She is really getting longer much faster than she's getting wider. In fact, I'm ashamed to say she's only in the high 70th percentile for weight now. The shame!

I asked the doctor what to do about my mastitis, hoping she would just hand over a prescription for antiobiotics, just in case. Instead, she gave me the worst advice possible: "Take a tylenol. If it still hurts, you're going to have to stop breastfeeding." This isn't the first time I have encountered this bullshit. Note to mom - add to your list: "find new pediatrician?" and/or "write nasty letter"

Well, the only thing more fun than flying alone with a squirmy infant is probably doing so on no sleep. I'm off to plant tomatoes in my garden at 2:30 am so I can get to bed soon. See you in 9 days, or sooner if I can teach my mom how to blog.

Here comes trouble

How many adults does it take to keep one baby safe? Clearly more than 3.

Today Barry, Nanny J and I were enjoying the lunches that J made (yes, we were all eating something different) Marielle was sitting in her Bumbo watching the world go by. She likes to squirm around but generally gives up after a few minutes. Today was the day she finally busted free. Barry saw her start to go overboard, as did I. What do you think my reaction was?

1) Scream at the babysitter for abandoning Marielle
2) Run across the room and try to catch Mari mid-air between Bumbo and carpet
3) Keep chewing

Hint: pick the least motherly response...and remember how much I love vegetarian mini-corn dogs.

I'm not sure if my brain knew I wouldn't make it, I saw J already running, I knew Marielle would be just fine, and/or I really am just a huge selfish pig, but I definitely did NOT immediately react.

J. reached Marielle right after she had done a baby face plant into the carpet. Marielle didn't scream or cry or really even seem to care. She was just happy to be able to move around on the floor. Luckily the seat was on the ground already, so she didn't have far to go. Not only was she not hurt, but the tumble didn't even scare her.

Tonight the Bumbo went on craigslist. 5 minutes later I had sold it for exactly what I paid for it 3 months ago. Score.

Mari must have had an overnight growth spurt - puberty already? - because today she also was suddenly able to reach up and touch her mobile with her long monkey arms. Now that she can yank on the animals with her long monkey arms, it's time to say bye-bye to that as well. That has not sold as quickly as the Bumbo but it's only been a few hours.

The mobile has served us well the last few months, keeping her occupied and lulling her to sleep. How am I supposed to get her to sleep now? Rock her or some such nonsense?! As long as my corn dogs are at arms' reach.

At what point are you no longer a NEW mom?

I trained myself to get up at a normal hour, get myself and Mari dressed & fed, and get out of the house and to a meeting on time. And it only took me six months!!

Or so I thought.

Seems the new mom's group actually started half an hour earlier than I had thought all this time. As I strolled in patting myself on the back for being 5 minutes early, we were actually 25 minutes late. Moms with four week olds managed to pull it together, but not us. And also it's twice a month, not once. Clearly reading comprehenion and memory declines rapidly when fatigued.

The guest speaker of the week was talking about wills and medical directives and all sorts of excitement. I missed 90% of it, so apologies to you Marielle if I get hit by a bus. Good luck being raised by wolves. He finally quit droning on and the babies were set free.

It was awesome to see older babies sitting. Maybe it really will happen to us one day! It was frightening to see babies crawling faster than I can run. And it was awesome to meet the other moms. There was none of this mommy wars stuff that the media created. None of the competition or anything I had expected. Just fun women who also were dying to break free of their homes and meet other women with kids. Where were the boxing gloves? The self righteousness?The mud wrestling? Sigh. It was so normal and pleasant.

Mari smacked some other babies around and they happily smacked right back. One tried to pull off her skirt. The babies were delighted with each other's toys and we all tried to play it cool when the germ sharing really kicked into high gear. We sat around reassuring the newest of moms that babies really do get personalities and will eventually learn to sleep more than 2 hours at a time.

I sat around with 3 other moms swapping birth stories. (Come on, you had to see that coming, right?) They all used the OB-GYN practice that I ran from. After listening to them, that was probably one of the best decisions of my life. I was the only one able to say I loved my labor and felt like my medical providers really cared about me, listened to what I wanted and did the best they could to accomodate my wishes. One mom who was trying for a vaginal delivery was bluntly told by her doctor, "we're going to have to cut you." Another was taught to breastfeed with the use of a towel since the lactation consultant was too busy to come back when the baby was actually in the room. And is it just me or shouldn't your doctor ask you or at least tell you before sticking a giant crochet-like-hook up your vagina to break your water?

I swear to you, Marielle was one of the tallest babies in the room, if not the tallest. And there were several babies that were a couple of months older. I knew she was a gigantic baby, but I finally had a visual representation of what "100th percentile for height" means.

Now that I've been to one meeting, I can't wait to go back. Work be damned. I'm getting up and out the door by 10 am if it kills me.

Like her uncles, Marielle wrestles in the heavyweight division

Stranger danger

Hmm. This looks interesting. Anybody clear this with mom?

Your jello frightens and confuses me.

Ok, perhaps this is slightly fun. But why is daddy looking agitated?

Hope mommy doesn't blame me when she gets home.

A weekend ruined by weed & the munchies

Is it bad if you can't remember the last time you left the house? Oh wait - I think it was Friday night when I went in search of free pizza. (It was delicious!) Or was it Saturday? We are still surviving on one car, and I'm doing my best to protest the current $3.50/gallon gas prices.

I have been confined to the house all weekend working my tail off and trying to get through a long must-do to-do list. The biggest, most painful projects were finally crossed off at 1 am early Monday morning. I would have been done much sooner had I not encouraged Barry to download Season 2 of Weeds. I am truly amazed at our ability to watch so much TV and still somewhat function in society. How we avoid bedsores is beyond me.

Late nights have been really hard for me lately. No amount of caffeine can keep me up, and believe me, I've tried. If Marielle would learn to nap I could get a lot more done during the day. It's a gift to get a 30-40 minute nap out of her. She definitely did not inherit her parents' hypersomnia.

Gone are the days of getting my most productive work done at 2 am. I'm not sure what the problem is. It's not just having a baby, as I actually get a decent amount of sleep. I think it's just that I'm getting OLD. Or maybe it's the new staple of my diet. My friend left THIS on my porch on Friday:

That's right - an entire case of the best food on earth. Between that, the pizza and the sodas, it's no wonder I managed to stay up past 10 pm for once.

New source of revenue?

Look, ma!

I done gots

me some

indoor plumbin'!

Showers:

$1 minute.

No waiting.